Why I’m Done Writing How-To Blog Posts

Fact: How-to blog posts are HUGE traffic drivers.

Myth: How-to can solve my every problem. Screw the fluff and the deep, tough questions. All I need is a How-to.

Now, just to be clear …

I’m not talking about “how to monetize your blog” or “how to change your baby’s diaper” types of posts. Those are very clear cut – “this-is-how-you-do-things.” And I firmly believe those are okay. What drives me nuts are posts like “How to stop yelling at your kids and be a happy mom” and “How to Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps.” These topics are fundamental heart issues and they’re not going to be solved by How-to.

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The How-to Epidemic

We live in a do x, y, and z formula-based, silver-bullet driven, give me only what I’m asking for – nothing more, nothing less culture. If you can see immediate progress after following a 3-step guide, you must be doing something amazing. If not, then you’re probably just a normal human being. I’ve always known this – but I’m also totally guilty of trying to break massively difficult topics down into step-by-step guides so people would think they’re easier and want to read our content (reference: 3 Steps to Conquer the Busyness Curse). And I’ve felt serious tension in doing this, knowing in my heart of hearts that it’s not right. For doing this, I profoundly apologize and ask your forgiveness. I have not been authentic by doing this and it does not represent my heart or what I believe to be the most helpful to you, our readers. It simply represents what I think you’re most likely to pin and come to our site to read.

The difficult part about this is that we so badly want to help and come alongside people. But how can we do that if we can’t reach you? If all the world wants to read is how-to and 3-step guides, how can we get you the information we believe you really need? I guess we just have to trust that those who are supposed to read it, will when the time is right.

Defining the Tension

So, this tension I’ve been feeling, but couldn’t explain was more or less defined when I listened to Brené Brown’s conference – The Power of Vulnerability. Part of her intro was a story she told of her first speaking engagement, where the woman running the show didn’t approve of her work on studying shame, fear and vulnerability. This woman had thought Brené was there to talk about how to be beautiful and successful. She said this,

“No one is interested in tough topics. People love how-to – how to be beautiful, how to be successful, how to be popular. This is what you will be talking about – how to be happy”

Brené’s response to this (after speaking for an hour on something she didn’t study or believe in simply because she was told to) was:

“How-to doesn’t work. If how-to worked, none of us would be struggling. ‘Cause we’re all smart enough to get how-to … If how-to worked we would not be the most obese, in debt, medicated and addicted adults in human history. If how-to worked we wouldn’t be struggling as much as we are with feeling lonely and disconnected. And mostly if how-to worked – if how-to be happy worked – none of us would be struggling with feeling like we’re enough. ‘Cause we would just follow the tips and tricks.”

What Works

This is why I’m done with How-to’s and 3-step this and tips and tricks for that. I want to talk about the tough topics. I want to enter the difficult conversations. Will you join me?

What works? Well, what works is entering into the difficult conversations and giving ourselves permission to be vulnerable to questions, answers and topics we may not want to hear, learn about or discuss. 

Please comment and let us know what tough topics you’d like to see discussed here – what conversations you’d like to see started.

Further Reading:

The Gifts of Imperfection

 

Daring Greatly

 

Braving the Wilderness

 

Rising Strong

 

Dare to Lead

Right there with ya,

Niki from