We all know Life Management is a thing. And not always an easy thing, actually RARELY an easy thing. There are a few people I know to be “natural” life managers, if that even exists…but they have no friends and I hate them. JUST KIDDING, sort of. I may or may not aspire to be them. I mean seriously though, I had a hard enough time managing my life in my early twenties – single, bill-less, not a care in the world.

Then I got a dog.

And then a husband.

Then a kid.

And now here we are – on a journey to figuring it all out day by day, desperately fighting the spirit of resentment and frustration as we move through the tension and unknowns of parenthood.

So I thought I’d share a few simple ways that improved our life management DRASTICALLY, and some practical tips on how to implement them.

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1. A Chore Chart

Discuss it. Coordinate it. Post it. Live by it. This was HUGE for us – not just in making sure everything gets done, but in avoiding the resentment, bitterness and passive aggression that always tries to take root when it seems one person is doing more than another. With an agreed-upon responsibility list – like a chore chart – there’s no gray areas as to who’s supposed to do what, when. And family members actually feel motivated and capable of doing their part because it’s so clearly laid out.

2. An Instant Pot

Now this may seem like an unconventional suggestion, but that’s our style here at the Newlymoms. We suggest the weird, out-of-the-box stuff that you never would’ve thought of.

One of the biggest stresses in both of our families has been what to eat, who will make it and the cost of meals in general. More often than not, we avoid the hassle of cooking by eating out – no prep, no time, no clean-up – but then the stress we avoided in making the meal quickly transfers to the stress of paying for it. Enter the Borland family’s solution – the instant pot.

It’s not just a kitchen appliance, it’s a cult. Some people make their entire living on instant pot recipes and that is GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. You can cook just about anything in an instant pot with minimal effort, minimal clean-up and at a minimal cost. And unless you have a lion beast of a man like I do, most recipes make enough to freeze for future.

Here are a few of our favorite recipe resources.

• Instant Pot Cookbook
• Instant Pot Obsession

3. Nap Time Should Also Be YOU TIME

What do I mean by this? Nap time often becomes the time we use to get everything done that we couldn’t while the kids were awake – dishes, vacuuming, laundry, lame stuff, etc. But then when is mommy time? The answer usually becomes never – which, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. The answer is NOT to sacrifice yourself completely and it should NEVER be your default mode. You are NOT JUST A MOM who addresses everyone else’s needs. You are actually your own person who has her own needs (no matter how hard you try to ignore them). Needs that go unmet, do not disappear. They fester, grow and blow-up in your husband’s totally oblivious and well-intentioned face. Let’s make a commitment, or at least an effort to recharge before that happens. We all know it’s not good for anybody.

So find a way to do what you need to do while baby is awake and use nap time for mommy time. Here a few great ways I accomplish this:

• At this point, my 1-year-old is over the jumper as a daily means of being entertained. But the occasional “here you can jump as hard as you want without falling” concept a) tires him out and b) gives mommy just enough time to vacuum and shower.
• I know the issues with screen time. And Mr. Kaiden isn’t really captivated too much by the TV anyway – but he LOVES CoCo. I think he mostly loves the bright colors, but my point is that it captures his attention enough to let me clean up, load the dishwasher and do a 10-minute work-out sans whining.
• Use common (& obviously harmless) household items they never get to play with to occupy them while you get to manage your life. Example: Kaiden, for reasons I’ll never understand, is enthralled by pulling QTips out of the box. See photos below. He gets to sit on the floor in mommy and daddy’s room and do this while mommy dusts, makes the bed (only on her very best days) and puts laundry away. Works like a charm.

4. Automate as Much as You Can

We have enough to remember as mamas. Anything you can automate expands your capacity and, in turn, blesses your family. So here are a few things you can automate:

• Shopping for things you use consistently and always need to refill: HELLO Amazon Subscribe & Save! Not only can Prime Members schedule & have delivered everything from toothpaste to toilet paper, but you SAVE MONEY on this too. [Side note: if you don’t have Amazon Pime, it’s only $5.99/mo right now!]. You can get up to 15% off on pretty much anything and the more you subscribe, the more you save. And on the off month where you use only half of the paper towels you’re scheduled to have delivered, you can simply skip the shipment. You can choose the quantity & frequency and adjust as needed. It’s a win, win, win! Here’s a list of items you can consider:
  • Standard Household Goods: Toilet Paper, Paper Towels, Dish Soap, Sponges, Hand Soap
  • Baby Gear: Diapers, Wipes, Formula, Baby Food
• Use AMAZON FRESH for as many groceries as you can; see this article on why Amazon Fresh is awesome! 
• Set up all your bills on Auto-pay and/or pay all your bills on the same day every month
• Plan out everything you need to do each week & month by setting aside one day to each, for example:
  • One day each month to review & budget your finances
  • One day each month to plan out your homeschooling, after-school activities, etc.

5. Remember: Even the Best Life Management Does Not Make A Happy Family

While managing your family’s life effectively can result in reduced stress and more time to do the things your family loves to do, the management in itself does not make a happy family. In fact, the overwhelming desire to manage your family’s life well can also cause control issues and the addiction to structure and routine. The most important thing in every family is love and love is patient, kind, understanding, it does not dishonor others, it is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor 13:4-5).

What does this mean for you? It means that love is not management. Love is love regardless of which routines go poorly, which tasks remain undone and which schedules get screwed up. The most important thing is that you always Keep Your Love On and learn to live in love in every season & every circumstance. What will make or break your family is not life management, but love.

Right there with ya!

Niki from,